Did Dwayne Johnson drop “the Rock” from all of the promotional material for Hercules because he figured he’d banked millions enough of box-office dollars to finally put to bed his wrestling persona in the milieu of cinema, or did he drop “the Rock” because he knew this movie was going to be pretty mediocre and he didn’t want to tarnish his brand with it?

I love the man. He’s as charismatic as he is handsome, and he is very very handsome, as my wife will be happy to explain to you in detail. He’s been great in movie after movie, and in surprising parts. He is a man who made his name on elbow drops and side slams, but plays quiet better than bombast.

He’s not great in Hercules, though. It’s baffling. It seems like a good fit, but it’s not. He has too many “rally the troops” speeches and he doesn’t carry them off. He shouldn’t have any at all. They’ve written a strange movie about Hercules the general and commander of troops, not Hercules the brute who wrestles animals. They undercut all of the larger-than-life aspects of the mythical character and also all of the tragic aspects of him, to make a character whose only real trait is strength. Hercules in the movie is still unbelievably strong, but otherwise he’s just a nice guy.

There’s a good Hercules movie featuring Dwayne Johnson out there, but it isn’t this odd story. It’s just a mediocre movie.

It also feels like they shot an R movie and then cut it down to PG-13, but I don’t think that’s the problem.

Anyway, Hercules: Don’t Bother

Best Books of the 00’s – Carter Beats the Devil

Carter Beats the Devil by Glen David Gold is the tale of a vaudeville musician turned feature performer suspected of the murder of President Warren G. Harding, the Secret Service agent investigating the death, a fellow magician disgraced early in Carter’s career, and the two loves of Carter’s life. The story has a less complex narrative than the others on the list so far, though it does shift characters at major story breaks and moves through time some, and for a story about a magician, there aren’t many misdirects in the plot and the few that appear are telegraphed well in advance.

It’s a good story, and a fun read, and I moved through it fast, but there wasn’t anything about it that I found gripping or moving or evocative–not evocative despite the fact that it takes place largely in San Francisco and Oakland, 40 miles from my house, among familiar names and places.

So I don’t have a lot to say. Feel free to read it, especially if you like magic, or want to read a book about a relentlessly good character (rescues animals, falls in love with blind woman, helps fellow performers, never has sex with anyone he isn’t in love with, abused as a child, loves his gay brother).

Read it or don’t.

Best books of the 2000’s – The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao¬†is the critically acclaimed debut novel by Junot Diaz. It describes the lives of a Dominican family cursed by dictator Rafael Leonidas Trujillo Molina in the 1950’s in the disorganized, slang-and-reference packed style of a family friend turned narrator.

The title character is an overweight, unpopular, science fiction obsessed writer and hopeless romantic whose inability to live up to Dominican Male ideals is the first evidence of the demonic presence haunting the family since his grandparents were disappeared and their wealth and status destroyed for an alleged minor insult against the dictator whose presence looms over the entire text. Things, generally, fail to go well for Oscar. They go less-than well for his mother, and other of his relatives, and to some extent, for his sister. They don’t really go well for anybody in the book.

It’s that kind of story.

But it isn’t, really, a bummer. The character narrating takes the stance that the bad things that happen are too bad, but were essentially inevitable, and though he’s sorry they came to pass, he doesn’t waste a lot of time in mourning. His job is to record what happened, and if he passes judgement at all, it is against the monster Trujillo who held the Republic in his thrall for so many years.

It was a little difficult to get started with this book, both because I don’t speak Spanish (really, the problem is the slangy Spanish vocabulary, not the complexity of ideas expressed in the language), and because the character narrating and the title character are both Genre nerds several levels beyond me, and there so many references to comic books and old science fiction stories that understanding the allusions in detail is impossible and I ended up trying to read things from context.

So for me, it was a book where a lot of the specific descriptions of people and places floated over me, and I got a sense of mood, a hint of what I was supposed to feel about them, and not much more. A careful reader with the internet available all the time could do better than that, and maybe there’s more in the book, waiting to be unpacked, but I enjoyed what I got out of it and I’m happy to have given it a chance.

4 stars, I think.

Best books of the 2000’s – Atonement, Bel Canto, Blind Assassin

Ten years ago I looked around and took stock of what I’d been reading and realized that I had a pretty solid foundation in Russian literature and a good survey of 19th century literature generally, but I wasn’t reading anything really modern. So I put out the call for good books written in the last half-century, and got a wonderful outpouring of suggestions from the people of the internet of the early 2000’s, a small and loveable group who didn’t post pictures of themselves at the gym or captions about being treated like a queen, but wrote about what they were feeling and experiencing. I read them voraciously. But then I got a job, and then a job at a start-up, and then a job at a start-up and a wife. So I started reading a lot less, and when I did read, it was a lot of garbage. Sometimes pretty entertaining garbage, but not the best of the best. So this year, after a particularly trashy spell inspired by a Barnes and Noble purchase of the Star Wars Trilogy in book form, I decided to get back to this project. A little googling found me this list: The Best Books of the ’00s – Onion AV Club. All such lists are subjective, but I thought this would be a good place to start. My plan is simple, read one of these good books, read something light, read the next of these serious books.

I’d read two of them already, so I won’t be reviewing them here, because they’re not fresh: The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon, and White Teeth by Zadie Smith. In short, the first one was okay, but not much more than that, and the second was great, really great… but then Zadie Smith’s next book wasn’t so great, and I think that’s tarnished White Teeth in my memory some.


Ian McEwan’s Atonement is the one of the two books I’m writing about today that are set largely in the 1930’s, though both shift around the century a bit and share the narrative device of being written by a character in the story. The narrative in Atonement feels straightforward and easy to read, though, so it isn’t until the end that it becomes clear what you’ve been reading, and this seems to be at the heart of many of the negative reviews of the book on places like Amazon and Goodreads. There’s a sense at the end that things in the universe of the book didn’t occur exactly as they’ve been recorded, and that seems to upset some people, as though one level of fiction–the idea that this book didn’t really happen–is ok, but a second level, that the story being told to us is being embellished as it is told, is unfair. I don’t know how these readers got out of high school. I remember a rather tedious lecture about unreliable narrators with regard to Wuthering Heights, so you figure this kind of thing has been literary fair game for 150 years now.

But Atonement is a wonderful book, and I didn’t think I wanted to review it at all when I was done because all I could think to say was “five stars.” The world and the characters feel real, and I finished the story on my lunch hour, about half a mile down the marina from the office, and got to walk back really thinking and wondering about it. The revelation at the end that upset all of the 1-star people is an open invitation to reflect back on the whole story, and how it was filtered through to us by the mind of a child and the deliberate choices of an author, and it seems like there is so much room for misinterpretation and deliberate injustice that you can paint a much prettier picture of the people in the story, and the whole thing left me feeling happy and sad at the same time.

Anyway, read this one.


Bel Canto

Ann Patchett’s Bel Canto is a romanticized retelling of the Peruvian Embassy Hostage crisis of 1996, and if Atonement felt real and true to life, Bel Canto is always one step removed from reality, maybe one-quarter of the way into a magical realism story. People are impossible versions of what they would be in their real life, but impossible in a way that lightens the horror of the inside of a months long siege. There is an opera singer in the group, the only woman left after the first day, and all of the men fall in love with her. The Vice President of the unnamed country becomes a devoted housekeeper and gardener. An ambassador becomes a chef. A child guerilla learns to read, and another learns to sing. A polyglot translator becomes the most important person present, everyone’s messenger, and the only person who gets to know everything going on. Though it has grim moments and the scene ends badly, it’s very compelling and I rushed through it in a daze. It was after finishing Bel Canto that I wondered if I wanted to skip the parts of my plan where I read lightweight garbage in between weighty books. Wondered if there are enough truly great novels out there to last the rest of my life.

I gave it five stars, the least you can do is read it.


The Blind Assassin

Margaret Atwood’s The Blind Assassin has a lot in common with Atonement. Setting, narrative structure, even some plot elements. It is about sex and war in the upper echelons of Canadian (instead of English) society in the first half of the twentieth century. And like Atonement, it’s a good book, but it’s a little less good. It’s four stars, not five. I moved through it at a more leisurely pace, ten days instead of two (though it’s a bit longer, also). Its very complicated structure–now an excerpt from the eponymous work, now a newspaper article, now the reminiscence of an old woman from the end of her life, the first half of which is about her struggle at the end of her days and the second half of which is autobiography–makes it difficult to get a hold of at first. It’s also a careful slow misdirect that serves as foreshadowing for thoughtful readers or as an eventual twist ending for careless ones.

If you’re only going to read one, read atonement, but really go ahead and read them both.

States I Have Visited Redux

I spent the last week of 2013 driving across the country in a rented SUV with a few pieces of furniture and a lot of odds and ends from my mother-in-law’s house (Which makes it sound like something bad happened to her, but really she’s retiring and simplifying her life somewhat). Since I had never been to Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas (except for airports), or New Mexico, I got to add 5 states to my checklist. So here, in graphic form, is my current states visited map.