GoodReads: A Dance With Dragons (and the rest of Ice and Fire)

A Dance With Dragons
A Dance With Dragons by George R.R. Martin

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I’ve been tempted, as I made my way through the extant books, to stop and write about them, but the idea of reviewing ten year old novels is always a little off-putting, so I’ve saved all my thoughts for the end. This is more of a gloss on the whole Song of Ice and Fire series, and not a blow by blow review of book 5.

When I started reading A Game of Thrones, I knew essentially nothing about it. I never read fantasy… I may never have read a single fantasy novel into adulthood. Even my science fiction phase ended when I was 14 or 15, and that, sadly, was before the books came out. I work in the tech industry, and there was some buzz in the backchannels when the TV series came out, discussions among fans of the book, but I didn’t dive in and pay attention. I also don’t subscribe to HBO, so I never saw any of the series. I didn’t even intend to start reading the books when I did. I just had a tire that wouldn’t hold its pressure.

The wheel shop I went to was recommended by Yelp, and pretty busy, and I was told it would take around an hour and a half to finish up my car. So I was stuck in Campbell with no car, about a mile from a major shopping center, and I decided to walk over and have some lunch, and maybe browse at the bookstore. I hadn’t been in a physical bookstore in a year or so, and I remembered right away why they are dying. Maybe they have the book you want, maybe they don’t. If they don’t, you can browse, but you have no way of knowing if the book you’re looking at is even half decent, unless you’re two-fisting it with your cellphone reading reviews. They do have a sort of magic, because of all the books everywhere, any of which you could pick up and read and get lost in, but that’s no different than, say, the kindle store… just prettier and… paper-smellier?

Anyway, I walked out of the bookstore with the paperback re-release of A Game of Thrones, and sat down in a cafe and ate a sandwich and read the prologue, in which some magical fantasy shit happens, and had some pretty hard buyer’s remorse. But I had nothing else to do, so when I got back to the tire place, I picked the book up again, and started reading the the book proper, and for a long time, the magical fantasy elements of the prologue are buried beneath a realistic, medieval kingdom, and I found that a lot more to my satisfaction.

I read the rest of the book pretty quickly after that, and generally, I felt the same about the two contrasting environments presented… the politics of the seven kingdoms I enjoyed, the big magical ending, I didn’t. And… boy, I guess there’s no way to avoid this… the only character I liked in the book died 3/4s of the way through. I didn’t like it. But it turns out it’s basically par for the course.

I read the second book on my honeymoon, along with a bundle of all the books found in-game in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. The two are a fantastic complement. Dragons, feudalism, swords and magic. And I enjoyed the second book, but by the end of it, the feeling that would pervade the rest of the series had set in.

As I finished the books, I found myself withdrawing from the characters. As soon as I found myself getting attached to a character, they were hauled up on a noose or impaled on a sword or burned to death. So I stopped caring about the characters. The series became grim, and I started taking longer and longer breaks between sessions. At the end of A Dance With Dragons, when I was within striking distance of the epilogue, I took four days off from it entirely, because I knew that I was in the killing chapters, and more characters were going to lose their lives. But eventually I did power through.

There’s a lot to talk about… the books tell such a convoluted story that there’s no sane way to even summarize what’s happened. There are political conflicts, ideological conflicts, religious conflicts, and one looming magical conflict. All of them are in flight, none near conclusion. In some of them, there’s nothing more than a looming menace. So I think I’m going to leave my thoughts on the story with this: I don’t know how this can be finished up in two more books.

As for the writing, it’s a little easier to find things to say. I’ve been turned off of beloved and imaginative books before by bad writing. Strong ideas and strong plots don’t overcome clumsy language and bad characterization. But I’ve given these all 4 star ratings, clearly that’s not an issue here. The writing itself, the style… it never soars. It’s not inspiring. There’s nothing I wanted to highlight, or repeat, or rephrase. But it’s solid. It never pulls you out of the story or makes you frown. And the characters are varied and three-dimensional, and since the point of view shifts, you find yourself sympathizing with and understanding even some pretty brutal characters.

So when the next one comes out? I’m going to read it. I expect to like it. I also expect to feel a sense of dread for most of the book.

Lay of the Last Survivor

I’ve reviewed not one but two Okkervil River albums here, and at least one version of Beowulf, so maybe it shouldn’t be a surprise, but I think my favorite song released in 2011 was “Lay of the Last Survivor”, off of I Am Very Far. I am 99.9% sure that it’s telling the story of the passage of the same name from Beowulf, or at least part of the story… or really more a vignette from the point of view of the people involved.

Anyway, pending some mooted and sinister legislation, you can find it here:

“Lay of the Last Survivor” | Okkervil River | I Am Very Far”

My favorite song of 2011

Skyrim

This is Hofgrir Horse-Crusher, one of the many NPCs that inhabit the world of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. He keeps the stables outside of the city of Riften, in the southeastern Rift region of the continent of Skyrim, in the world of Tamriel. If you’d like, you can buy a horse from him. There are stables outside of every major city in the game, each run by a separate NPC, many of whom have families and assistants and a whole pre-programmed life.

 

This is Hofgrir Horse-Crusher

I didn’t buy a horse from Hofgrir. They don’t seem to run any faster than you can run, and I didn’t work out until later that they allow you to fast-travel to areas you’ve visited before, even if you’re overburdened. I’d heard that they were pretty handy against wild animals, even heard tales of horses killing dragons. But I didn’t need a horse.

 

Hofgrir Horse-Crusher, though, is also a drinker, and a brawler, and when I came across him, he challenged me to a brawl. In taverns all across the land, drunks and mercenaries will challenge you to a fistfight, and bet money on themselves to win, like a bunch of battered Pete Roses. Hofgrir wanted to fight me for a 200 Septim wager, and cocky adventurer that I am, I accepted.

 

But my purse was running light. I didn’t have the 200 gold to cover the wager. And Skyrim, for all of its beauty and scope and polish, didn’t know how to handle the situation. I got a quest item to defeat Hofgrir Horse-Crusher in an unarmed brawl, but talking to him didn’t give me the option to trigger the fight, and putting my weapons away and punching him in the face started a criminal assault and landed me in the custody of the Riften city watch. I paid my bounty and left town, and started to accept a lot of other quests from a lot of other people.

 

Seventy gameplay hours later, I was the leader of the Thieves Guild in Riften, a member at the Bard’s College in Solitude, the Archmage at the College of Winterhold, the Harbinger of the Companions in Whiterun, The Listener, leading the shadowy Dark Brotherhood from a Sanctuary north of Dawnstar, Thane in several of the holds of Skyrim, and holder of several Daedric artifacts, and I was thinning out my miscellaneous quests before I started the main story missions. And finally the only quest left to tackle on my active list was to defeat Hofgrir in an unarmed brawl.

 

So I went back to the stables at Riften, and tried, again and again, to get him to acknowledge our old wager. Sometimes he would taunt me, asking me if I was back to fight as I approached, but the quest was well and thoroughly broken, and I couldn’t get him to fight me the way the game wanted.

 

But as I sat in my office chair, bleary-eyed with cramping hands, another thought occurred to me, and I made my character crouch behind a horse and wait. A minute later, Hofgrir stretched his arms and headed into the stable building, and I picked the lock behind him and followed.

 

He didn’t see me, crouching there behind him. I was an accomplished cat-burgler by then. He didn’t hear me draw my Legendary Glass Sword. And he gave only a single choking cry as I struck. I hid in the corner as his assistant came into the room and asked aloud, “Gods, what’s happened?”

 

The words “Failed: Defeat Hofgrir Horse-Crusher in an unarmed brawl” faded into the loading screen as I stole back out into the Riften night.

 

Hofgrir Horse-Crusher is dead, and his stables may well go to ruin. And maybe my conscience is cloudy, but my quest log is mercifully clear.

Goodreads: 1Q84

1Q84
1Q84 by Haruki Murakami

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

1Q84 is a long, sprawling novel by Haruki Murakami that fans of Haruki Murakami will like. That probably sounds like the stupidest sentence ever written, but I will elaborate. If someone says to you “I am reading a novel by Haruki Murakami,” you should immediately have the following thoughts. “There is some girl who has strange abilities, and some boy who loves her, and she will probably go missing. Also: cats. Crazy things will happen in a very normal world, and only the people directly involved will notice that anything has changed.” You are correct in nearly every particular. There aren’t any important cats, just a cat metaphor.

Three Murakami novels have come out since I started reading him: Kafka on the Shore, After Dark, and now 1Q84. 1Q84 definitely has the worst title, and after a few chapters, when you understand the significance of it, you may find yourself in the really tedious position of explaining it. The two protagonists each have a different understanding of the way their world has changed, and one of them uses 1Q84 to describe the new reality. The other refers to it as the Town of Cats, after a story he reads on a train. That would have been a lousy and misleading title, too.

But you guys, it’s amazing. Read it and read it again and never stop reading it. There are some creepy and offputting things, and it’s 900-odd pages long, but it’s fantastic. And then we’ll talk about it. Because I have a lot of things to say but I don’t know anyone who is going to read this.

These are the podcasts that I like

About two years ago, I switched from listening to music at work to listening to podcasts. There are enough quality podcasts now to fill a week easily, and some of those first podcasts I listened to are no longer updating or have fallen out of rotation, and I won’t bother to link you to those, but this is how I fill up my work hours now:

 

From the ACE Broadcasting Network:

The Adam Carolla Show | Website iTunes

I used to turn my radio on, down way low, in the middle of the night to listen to Loveline. Teenagers would call in, Adam would laugh at them, and Dr. Drew would mother them and reassure them that, no, you can’t get pregnant via anal sex. Adam left the show in the mid 00’s to take over Howard Stern’s slot on the radio, but we didn’t get that morning show here, so it wasn’t until his radio show ended and his podcast began that our love affair picked up again. He gets good guests, he asks tough questions, he goes off on wild rants, and he puts out at least an hour every weekday.

 

From Maximum Fun:

Jordan, Jesse, Go! | Website | iTunes

Jordan Morris and Jesse Thorn bring in a guest every week–comedians, filmmakers, friends, and in one notable case, webcomic artists–but they don’t exactly interview them. Instead this show is free-flowing and conversational, following any tangent. It’s a weekly, and one of the first podcasts I listen to on a Monday. This is a priority listen for me, and I don’t think I’ve ever had two episodes waiting to be listened to at the same time.

 

My Brother, My Brother and Me | Website | iTunes

Three brothers get together once a week and give advice that their disclaimer warns ‘should never be followed.’ When questions aren’t forthcoming, they pay it even further forward and answer interesting Yahoo! Answers questions. This isn’t the only advice show I listen to, but in this case, it isn’t really about the advice, it’s about the interaction between the hosts and the colorful turns of phrase they employ. If you heard me say something “wasn’t really my jam” in the last six months, or talk about “rearranging some guts,” you were hearing MBMBaM second hand. I bought the app, guys.

 

Judge John Hodgman | Website | iTunes

The shortest podcast in my regular rotation. John Hodgman (who you probably know as “a PC”, but maybe if you’re awesome as the author of “The Areas of My Expertise” etc.) acts as a Judge to settle skype disputes between roommates, lovers, families and friends. His judgments may not be binding, but they’re pretty fun.

 

From the Hot Dog Network:

Advice Hot Dog | Website | iTunes

Zack and Roy answer questions. This one is probably going to be a hard sell, but if you like the web game Kingdom of Loathing and its attendant radio shows, you should definitely check this one out.

 

Video Games Hot Dog | Website | iTunes

The makers of Kingdom of Loathing broke off half of their Thursday radio show and converted it into discussion of other video games. They play old classics together, discuss game development, and have a good time.

 

120 Minutes of Kingdom of Loathing | Website | iTunes

The creators of the web game Kingdom of Loathing did two two-hour internet radio shows a week, talking about the game and life in general. The Monday show is Jick and Mr. Skullhead, the Thursday show is Jick, Hotstuff, and Riff. This podcast is the archive of those shows. It isn’t strictly a part of the Hot Dog network, but this is probably the best place to stick this.

 

From the Nerdist network:

The Indoor Kids | Website | iTunes

The Indoor Kids is a videogame podcast hosted by husband-and-wife team Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V Gordon. They’ve had some great guests and some great conversations, and are a recent favorite. I’m listening to the most recent episode now, and that makes me all caught up.

 

Podcasts about Movies:

Doug Loves Movies | Website | iTunes

Doug Benson and his comedian friends play movie trivia in front of a live audience. Either you like Doug Benson or you don’t, but this is a solid listen.

 

Overthinking It Podcast | Website | iTunes

The guys at Overthinking it tackle a lot of things, not just movies, but movies are often the centerpiece of each episode. They do, as promised, overthink and overanalyze, and that can be very entertaining.

 

Podcasts about Video Game Music:

Top Score with Emily Reese | Website | iTunes

Emily Reese of Minnesota Public Radio interviews video game composers, over their soundtracks. It’s great for classical music fans and great for videogame fans. But maybe you wanted to hear some old-school music?

 

The Legacy Music Hour | Website | iTunes

The Legacy Music Hour focuses on the best music of the 8-bit and 16-bit eras, so this is where you will go to hear Mega Man tracks, Final Fantasy tracks, etc. There’s a big backlog here, so it’ll take you a long time to clear it out even if you get really caught up.